Sunday, February 26, 2012

How do I explain to strangers why I am a vegetarian without being offensive?

ive been meeting a lot of new people lately, and my friends always end up mentioning that im a vegetarian if were out at dinner or something, i never bring up the subject myself. and most of the time people ask me why, but i always get a little nervous about how i should go about explaining it without sounding like a douche. so i just say like health reasons or ethical reasons without getting too into detail, is this okay or should i approach the answer differently? thanks x|||You shouldn't have to worry about what other people think about what you eat. It's your life and you should be able to eat whatever you want to. If they react that's their own problem...|||This is what I like to say:





"Why are you vegetarian/vegan?"





"Why not?" (ask it like my are really curious)





Let them answer it for you.





Maybe they'll just say "Good point." and leave it at that... or....





"Well... Where to you get (protein, vitamins, etc. etc.)?"





"I don't know, where do you get yours from?"





"From the food I eat."





"Hey, me too!" (and be really sarcastic in an overly excited way, like "HEY, we've got something in common!!")





See, you're not finding yourself having to explain sh*t to strangers, but you're too damned cool to be bothered by their stupid questions, then you mock them at the end, then they shut up.|||Just simply say "ethical and health reasons". Which ever one is more important to you, say first. If you're vegetarian for mainly health reasons, say "health... and ethical reasons".


It's not like they're looking for some novel of a detailed explanation. If they want to know more, they'll ask you:)|||Just be honest. If they don't like it well who is paying for dinner any way?





Just say it in a direct and calm way. Don't get all militant and emotional about it. Don't have this tone that they are wrong, heathens, and sinners for eating meat. Just be honest and positive.





In the end ppl with think what they want. So don't put so much thought into it. You have some influence, but not full control.|||That's perfectly fine. Just tell them you don't feel comfortable eating meat but they can eat whatever they want.


Whenever someone asks me why I'm vegan, I tell them that I'm opposed to using anything that came from an animal, but they can do what they like.|||Be as vague as possible. "The usual reasons." "Health reasons." "Ethical reasons."





Then stop talking.|||If it is something you truly believe in don't be afraid and tell them the truth and if they don't like it they can screw themselves. anyways they asked you :)|||Them: "Why are you a vegetarian?"





You: "Animal rights." (Or whatever your reason is. Go on eating and let the conversation carry on.)|||I have the same problem. I don't wanna come across as preachy, but at the same time, I want people to know I have a reason! I think you should say that "I'm vegetarian for ethical reasons, and I just don't feel comfortable eating meat, but it's fine if you want to *smile*". And if they ask you to expand on that, just say you saw some slaughter videos that made you want to be vegetarian. Simply saying you saw a video is a lot easier than talking about all the facts and figures about animal cruelty. I have found that if you talk to much about the animal cruelty, people think you are being preachy, so try to give that topic a wide berth. Good luck :)|||;-)


i dontknow





i suppose allyou can do is try to explain it the way you feel you have to, want to or can, within the limits of social acceptable conversation,





it depends on the people as well obviously, but you can generally know if your going into animal right teritory, its best to stick to the simple,' i dont agree with how they are treated and became vege because of that'





of course its ok, no point pretending to be someone your not, if thats your reason, dont hide it, why should you, it may make them uncomfortable, but, they did ask


;-)

















additional





you knmow, i actually like the 'get a chicken and start crying' idea


i can see it now, having a chicken ready , live of course, who knows how, and then take it out, and just, point, and begin crying hysterically





i think that would work, if you wanna scare them away from you and get put away for life, but hey, makes the point ;-D|||Who cares what people think, my husband is a vegetarian and im a meat lover and my family and friends used to always give me crap about me being married to a vegetarian and how I do it, and I just tell him it doesnt matter to me what he eats I still love him. Your friends should have more respect for you. When my husband is with me around family or friends, they are actually nice and if we go to family or friends for dinner or something they actually make up my hubby a nice sweet vegetarian mean just for him and DONT make a deal about it. I say who cares what people think, Im a meat lover myself but dont let anyone offend you being a vegetarian. :)|||Tell your friends to be quiet about it, this way you don't have to explain! If you want new people in your life to know that your vegetarian it's up to "YOU" to tell them not your friends! There's really nothing to explain, it's your personal choice on how you want to eat. My sister is a vegetarian and she tells people, "it's my personal choice there's nothing to explain, end of story"! If they push her for more, she tells them if I wanted you to know I would of told now, wouldn't I? And that usually stops them right there!


Tell your friends to keep their mouths shut about you being a vegetarian, they have no reason to tell the world. It's you choice tell people or not and it's your personal choice to eat that way!!|||first off it is none of a STRANGERS business what you do or eat


and just say this is what you like


period


if they really want to know you can just say it is for PRIVATE health reasons


and if they insist


tell them to go to the library and read some good books on the subject











good luck


smile|||if they ask you find out how interested they are.


see if you can find out what they know on the topic


do not be shy about the subject or afraid of the answer but before you get to big in the spill make sure that you are into the conversation and not just being a pest.


tell them about the crulity to animals


about the convictions you have about not eating meat from the precept that although it is healty to eat clean meat that you prefer to find the next step up and not eat any of it at all. give reasons you find in the news about health and the issue of mercury in fish and red meat and arteries clogged chicken and poultry are best but even they are high in fat content and .... do not try to be offinsive and do not lay it all on them at once but use it as part of a conversation starter and see if you can find there interest.|||I've always found that the best explanations are humble and just have to do with the person's OWN personal choice, rather than getting into any "bigger picture" themes or issues that can put people on the defensive. As others here have said, if you don't care what others eat, it's always good to let people know that, so they don't feel uncomfortable ordering what they want to eat at dinner.





P.S. Turns out that there's actually a whole book about this!|||Yeah, tell your "friends" to be respectful and leave it to you to tell people if you want them to know...





As for those awkward moments when you're on the spot, you can say, "I'm sorry, I would rather not talk about it if you don't mind. But would you like to hear about my latest..."





Usually a person wants to show you interest, and when someone else says you're this or that, it gives them an opening to have conversation with you and make you feel comfortable and involved.


So you should take control by making suggestions of what you like to talk about, or let your friends know some things they CAN say about you...|||I give you thumbs up, and you have my support. Just be strong and tell them you just don't choose to eat meat. As americans we are addicted to meat, and I pray to God I want to become a vegetarian, but right now i'm just weak. My wife is white and i'm black people always ask me, "Why did you marry a white women?" My response is because that's the person who I fell in love with. I don't go into because I don't care what the next person thinks. FYI also most of our meat is cloned, but very little people know that, be proud you are different. STAY STRONG!!!!! BE YOUR OWN PERSON!!!!!!





Peace.....|||Just say that you don't like the flavor of meat. Since taste is a subjective sense, nobody can really argue with that and there's nothing to be "informed" about. It's simply an alternate opinion.





Even if that isn't really true, you just met these people. Why start off your acquaintanceship with such a volatile argument?





By the way, you might want to start with your friends who are putting you in such an uncomfortable position. I don't see why they mention your vegetarianism if you don't.|||Everyone has different beliefs and ethics and morals. If your new friends judge you for having your own set of values, they're the douche bags, not you.





Simply start of with, "Well, for me personally..." and go from there.|||you just tell them that you don't feel comfortable eating animals. that you don't have a problem with other people doing it, you just don't want to.|||just say it is your beliefs, thats what you choose to consume. as long as your not making anyone feel bad, or or imposing your beliefs on them. it should be fine..





if they judge you, then you probably wont even want to see them any longer|||A brief answer is fine-if they want to know more then they can ask more specific questions. I absolutely freeze out anyone who starts trying to change my mind about it, though. I just say "I'm not crticizing your choices, why would you criticize mine?"|||this is the best reasons.Vegetarian Times - Great Food, Good Health, Smart Living|||"i just prefer the crunch and or texture of (insert name of whatever you are eating here)" and leave it there with a slight smile and look away.|||you shouldn't have to explain its really none of there Business|||Eat a thick juicy pork stake while telling them.|||i always say 'Its how i grew up'





always never gets any questions after :D|||get a chciken and srat crying|||Your situation kind of reminds me of a couple work friends of mine. A few years ago we all worked at the same place and they were next door office neighbors. Stacy liked to burn candles in her office, but Karen had allergies to a lot of different chemicals and scents. Every time Stacy lit her candles, it would drift over and cause Karen to have a migraine. Karen didn't want to ruffle any feathers so she didn't say anything to Stacy. One day Karen got super sick and almost overdosed on her medicine trying to get rid of her headache. I should have let Karen solve her own problems, but I could tell she wasn't going to, and I just got in the "whatever" mode and I said something to Stacy myself!





It was a pretty no-frills conversation, and I did NOT hurt her feelings. I said..."Karen won't tell you this, but I'm pretty sure you would really want to know...that your candles are setting off her migraines. I know you had no idea, because you wouldn't want to cause such a problem on purpose...so I figured I would tell you." She was grateful that I told her but also mortified that no one had said something sooner! She stopped burning her candles immediately and opened her window to help air out the place from the scent. Turns out that they were able to talk the next day or so and they worked it out, that the UNlit candles were just enough to scent up Stacy's office without the scent going next door. It was so easy to fix and saved so much problem!!





In the same way, it sounds to me like you are feeling a bit violated by your longtime friends "outing" you as a vegetarian to new people. What we eat is personal, cultural, values laden choices and we don't all think the same, which could land you in the hot seat if your friends use your vegetarianism as a random topic of conversation with people you don't all know well. Your friends probably just haven't thought of it that way because they love you and accept you, but I would remind them that you should be the one to bring it up, not them, so that if you end up having to explain or defend yourself, or having to answer a bunch of dumb questions, at least you brought it on yourself.





True friends don't intend to hurt each other but sometimes they do affect each other in the wrong way without knowing it. They will never know if you don't tell them, so waiting for them to figure it out, or dealing with it in silence is ridiculous. In fact, it may hurt your friends more, if they don't think you can be honest with them about your feelings...like you don't think they care how you feel. Give your friends that benefit of the doubt. They will want to know if they are upsetting you, so they can stop doing it.|||First of all it's fantastic that you are vegetarian, and you can be proud of embracing a lifestyle that is kinder to your health, the animals, and the environment. So, there is really nothing to be ashamed or nervous about, but I understand that the "vegetarian argument" can easily lead to retorts or mocking, particularly if meat-eaters feel the need to defend their own lifestyle when being faced with yours.





I think you are doing it right already: rather than bringing it up yourself, just react when being approached about it - I do the same thing. It's important not to be preachy or condescending towards others, as that ticks off people easily.





The important question is, what is your main reason for being vegetarian? Don't try to cite the most "political correct" reason, but pick the reason that truly speaks from your heart - as that will be the most convincing and eloquent argument you can make!





If your compassion is your main reason for being vegetarian and you are afraid of being mocked for being a "softie" or a "douche", just smile this away. People who think it's a weakness to openly confess one's compassion and emotions have to learn and mature a lot more. Compassion is the ultimate accomplishment of emotional and spiritual growth, something that people can experience at young age, later in life, or never. So if you are being laughed at, remember, your fellows may still have the journey ahead of them (or more likely, they admire your courage internally, but want to conform in public and in front of others, to what society expects from "normal men and women").








If you get an opening or invitation to talk about your reason for being vegetarian, then by all means go for it!





-tell your dinner company that you don't want to contribute to the terrible suffering and abuse that food animals experience in our standardized food production systems. If this raises eyebrows, you can venture a little deeper and throw a few facts on the table. Here is a source with facts you can bring up: http://www.belsandia.com/factory-farming鈥?/a>





Explain that you have started connecting the food on your plate with a face, with the living, breathing, feeling animal that this slab of meat used to be. Tell them that you believe all creatures should be treated with respect, and should be able to experience their life naturally and unharmed. This is not a right reserved for humans, in your opinion. Again - don't be preachy but simply fact-based and stating your point of view.





-if you are a vegetarian mainly for health, the reasons to go plant-based are simply overwhelming, and you can use the many health facts and statistics about how sensible it is to prevent the most common diseases with the right lifestyle choices. Here are some facts:


http://www.belsandia.com/healthy-eating-鈥?/a>





-if you are concerned about the environment and want to use this argument with your dinner party first, the proof is out now for a while that concentrated animal farming contributes 51% of all greenhouse gas emmissions in the US. The only really fast, efficient, and most economical way to fight global warming is to start with food choices: go veg! This is more powerful than driving hybrids, using solar panels, switching light bulbs, etc. Impressive black-on-white figures what really can be saved with a veg diet - even if only once per week - can be found here: http://www.belsandia.com/going-green-wit鈥?/a>





So I hope this gives you a few more ideas where these conversations could lead. Just be prepared with the arguments and facts that matter most to you, and then no one can run you over. Aggressive defensiveness or ridicule from non-veg friends is often a natural response for them, as you are indeed touching on the very lifestyle and beliefs that they may have grown up to know and embrace. Please give them time to digest your reasons and to open their mind to your "outrageous" arguments, that many of them may hear for the first time. Most people don't become veg overnight, it's a process that continues - fast or slow - once the seed is planted. Don't be frustrated if no one sides with you at first. I am quite sure that after dinner, some of your friends may think about what you said again, and your facts. They may even look them up for themselves to find out more!





Overtime you should see the attitude towards you changing. You will be admired secretly for standing up for something you truly believe in, as it takes a lot of courage and strength to defend principles that are routed in something much greater than our society norms of conformity and success prescribe.

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